During one of our gatherings we explored the ways each of us received and gave love. In a moment of profound vulnerability, Shaw shared with us that he had never felt love. He told us that he did not know how to either give love or receive it. It was something that was completely foreign to him. He didn't even know how to begin to join the rest of us in this exploration.

Prior to this, over the course of many of our gatherings, Shaw had revealed the story of his very brutal childhood. We all knew of the times when, as a very small boy, his father had ordered him to go down to the cellar and bring up coal for the fire. The boy would have to battle enormous and very aggressive rats to do this. In his quiet and unemotional voice Shaw had described the rodents shining eyes as they stared at him, challenging his entry into their domain. The image remains vivid in my mind even many years later. And this was only one of the many horrific tales he shared with us.

Michael and I had known Shaw longer than anyone in the circle, longer even than his wife. I knew without a doubt that he really believed he could not feel love. My heart went out to him, not in pity, or disbelief, but with deep compassion towards a fellow traveler on the journey. I understood what he was saying, for I, myself, have had moments of feeling a great chasm between myself and what we glibly call love.

Some inner voice told me that I could be of help to Shaw in this moment. At first I doubted how I might be able to do so, but heeded the voice anyway. I'm so glad I did. When we help another, there is always the benefit of helping ourselves as well. I proceeded in what turned out to be a slow unfolding of events. I just kept trusting and following my inner instructions, which I truly believe came from Spirit.

First, I asked Shaw's permission to lead him in a little guided journey. Brave soul that he is, he said that would be okay. It is a painfully, poignant moment when someone is willing to give themselves to another in the hopes of finding a deeper truth. We never know where these journeys will take us. It takes courage and deep trust.

I had Shaw lie on the floor, wrapped him in a blanket, and put pillows under his head and knees. I asked everyone to come around and put their hands on him in a soft, loving way. Then I took him on a journey.

I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that Shaw was capable of great love. He clearly demonstrated it—both the receiving and the giving of it—in the way he lived his life. I instructed him to close his eyes and to let go of any worries, doubts, tensions, or concerns. When his breathing became easy and relaxed, I told him to imagine being in the home of his friends Carol and Steve. The couple has several children, and I knew that one of them, four year old Ayisha, was a favorite of Shaw's. He was always talking about her. He would light up as he described to us her latest escapades, how she was growing, and just what a joy she was to him. It was obvious how much he loved and adored Ayisha.

I asked Shaw to imagine being in the Carol and Steve's living room, and said, "Ayisha has just walked into the room. See her smiling at you and running across the room to jump in your lap with her newest drawing." I then put my hand very, very lightly over his heart and asked, "What are you feeling right now, Shaw?"

In a quiet voice he said, "I feel a slight warmth in my heart."

I told him, "that is love."

We sat with Shaw, with soft music playing for what might have been twenty minutes or so. Then when he was ready, he opened his eyes. His entire body was expressing a big smile. He said, "Oh, is that what it feels like? I expected it to be big like a flashing neon billboard. This is small and tender, even a whisper."

It is easy to miss the whispers of love, especially in the midst of the harsh cacophony of life. Each of us has an Ayisha in our life. It could be a child, an animal companion, a lover, or a parent. May we allow them to help us hear love's soft murmurings.

"I am a member of New Dimensions. I used to listen to the program from 1977 until 1989 in Vermont. Then I moved and lost the Vermont Public radio channel. Then in 2004 my daughter searched the net and found it for me. I enjoy it immensely. I now spend my time between India, looking after my aging in-laws, and my grandsons in the USA. I have the time to listen to NDIR anywhere. You guys are having an impact "GLOBALLY." Keep it up."

-- Santosh Chawla

"I wanted to express my gratitude for Sunday’s Program with Michael Meade. I feel that, above all, the program gave me a solid foundation of ideas to stand upon when facing the daily tragedies, the lean mean dark times we live in. For so long I have felt the weight of something impending, something ending, and have often turned away in hurt, ignored the reality, or found solace in extreme positivism. Although Meade’s ideas presented me with the dilemma to accept the dark pragmatic times we live in, they also encouraged me to face what is happening to our world with a brave perspective and a renewed sense of responsibility. Thank you for this wonderful program. It is certainly capable of changing lives."

-- Ellie Rahochik